This is a tutorial on COORDINATION, SUBORDINATION, and PREDICATION. The first part of the tutorial is a definition of coordination, subordination and predication with some examples illustrating the principles of each. The second part cites examples of faulty and corrected sentences.
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Writers can coordinate ideas in words, phrases, and clauses by joining them with the words BUT, OR, NOR, FOR, SO, and YET (coordinating conjunctions), and by joining them with words like HOWEVER, MOREOVER, and THEREFORE, (conjunctive adverbs). You can also coordinate ideas by expressing them in clauses introduced by the words ALTHOUGH, BECAUSE, IF, WHEN, WHERE, and WHILE (subordinating conjunctions) or by the words, WHO, WHICH, and THAT (relative pronouns). The following examples provide some guidelines for managing coordination and subordination effectively.
Two or more simple sentences in sequence will seem somewhat equal but distinct. The reader must detect whatever specific relation exists between them. Linking sentences and ideas with coordinating conjunctions enables the reader to see the logical connection between them more easily. Compare the following passages.
We should not rely so heavily on coal, oil, and gas. We have a substantial energy resource in the moving waters of our rivers. Smaller streams add to the total volume of water. The resource renews itself. Coal and oil are irreplaceable. Gas is also irreplaceable. The cost of water does not increase much over time. The costs of coal, oil and gas rise considerably.
Revised:
We should not rely so heavily on coal, oil, and gas, for we have a substantial energy resource in the moving waters of our rivers and streams. Coal, oil and gas are irreplaceable and thus subject to dramatic cost increases; water, however, is self-renewing and more stable in cost.
The information in both passages is essentially the same, but the second is shorter and considerably easier to read and understand. Whereas the first passage strings ideas together in short, simple sentences without any real logical connection, the second passage builds connections among coordinate ideas.
Faulty coordination occurs when no logical connections exists between two coordinated statements or when the stated connection contradicts common sense. Oftentimes faulty coordination occurs because the writer omits necessary information, as in the following example:
Faulty: George is a foster child and has to go to the dentist often.
Logically this sentence reads that because George is a foster child he has to go to the dentist often, which is not the writer’s intent.
Revised: George is a foster child WHOSE BIOLOGICAL PARENTS NEGLECTED HIS TEETH; CONSEQUENTLY, he has to go to the dentist often.
Or
Revised: BECAUSE George is a foster child WHOSE BIOLOGICAL PARENTS NEGLECTED HIS TEETH, he has to go to the dentist often.
Now we know that George has to go to the dentist often not because he is a foster child (as implied by the original sentence) but because his biological parents neglected his teeth.
Sometimes a series of compound clauses strung together--that is, a sequence of main clauses linked with coordinating conjunctions—creates the same effect as a series of simple sentences: it obscures the relative importance of ideas and details.
Continued...
Excessive coordination: We were near the end of our vacation, and the storm kept getting worse, and the snow and ice covered the windshield, and I could hardly see the road ahead, and I knew I should stop, but kept on driving, and once I barely missed a truck.
The above sentenced contains two main assertions: THE STORM KEPT GETTING WORSE and I KEPT ON DRIVING. All the rest is detail elaborating on these simple statements. Such a loosely compounded sentence needs subordination so that main assertions and supporting detail are distinct.
Revised: As we neared the end of our vacation, THE STORM KEPT GETTING WORSE, covering the windshield with snow and ice until I could barely see the road ahead. Even though I knew I should stop, I KEPT ON DRIVING, once barely missing a truck.
This revised version coordinates ideas by clearly distinguishing main ideas (or main clauses) with secondary ideas (subordinate clauses).
Excessive coordination: The Democrat and Republican candidates debated the same points on the same issues for hours without either of them saying anything different because they both had the same position on the issues, even though there were many solutions to any one of the given issues, and all of the solutions are different, but they didn’t seem to understand that. That is why I believe there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans.
Because of the excessive coordination the meaning of the above sentence is obscure. That is, what is the main point? What is the author trying to emphasize?
Revised: The Democrat and Republican candidates debated the same points on the same issues for hours. Neither said anything different because, basically, both had the same position on the issues. Although there are many different solutions to any one of the given issues, the candidates didn’t seem to understand that, which is why I believe there is very little difference between Democrats and Republicans.
Again, this revised version coordinates main ideas from secondary ideas or ideas that need to be subordinate to main ideas.
Continued...
Note: be careful not to overuse SO as a coordinating connector:
I went to school so I could get a degree, so I could get a better job, so I could make more money, so I could buy a better house and a car that works.
Revised: I went to school to get a degree so I could get a better job, which would allow me to make more money, and, thus, buy a better house and car.
Note that proper coordination helps tighten sentences.
Definition of Predication: Predication is a form of sentence coordination that involves a logical connection between the SUBJECT and PREDICATE. Note, the SUBJECT is the noun, pronoun, or group of words substituting for a noun, that serves as the agent of action or topic expressed in the predicate of a sentence or clause. The PREDICATE is a verb, along with other words associated with it, that states the action of the subject or the condition in which the subject exists. Faulty coordination occurs when there is no logical connection between subject and predicate, or when they do not make sense.
Faulty: Gradually we decided that George’s welfare would not be safe living with his biological parents.
Revised: Gradually we decided that George would not be safe living with his biological parents.
The subject is George, not his welfare. Thus, George, not his welfare, would not be safe.
Faulty: According to the new welfare guidelines, single moms, who now receive aid for dependent children, will be abolished.
Revised: According to the new welfare guidelines, aid for dependent children for single moms will be abolished.
Note: The above faulty sentence is not logical. It literally says that single moms, not the aid, will be abolished. In the revised version, the aid, not single moms, will be abolished.
Sample Sentences:
Faulty: An aspect of the story that I liked was Moby Dick.
Revised: An aspect of the story I liked was Melville’s description of Moby Dick.
Faulty: In the “All My Life For Sale” essay John Fryer discovered life shouldn’t be wasted on your possessions but the people who care about you.
Revised: In the essay “All My Life For Sale” John Fryer discovered life shouldn’t be wasted on possessions but rather he states that we should be more concerned about the people who care about us.
Faulty: It was easy for him to keep tabs on all of what he sold without much difficulty with the internet.
Revised: With the internet, it was easy for John Freyer to keep tabs on what he sold.
Faulty: Freyer is able to visit most of what he sold, but because of the September 11th attack he was unsure that he’d be welcome.
Revised: Freyer was able to visit most of the people who bought his stuff off of his web site. However, after the September 11th attack, he didn’t know whether or not he would continue visiting people.
Faulty: Freyer stopped caring so much about his old possessions he was visiting but instead more about the people he came in contact with.
Revised: Fryer stopped caring so much about his old possessions he was visiting and started caring more about the people he met.
Faulty: TV is effective learning when it is family life.
Revised: TV can be an effective learning tool when it shows a realistic view of family life.
Faulty: The essay “Ashes” is about a family that goes through some interesting events through the course of the essay.
Revised: The essay “Ashes” is about a family that goes through some interesting experiences while dealing with a daughter/sibling’s marriage and a mother’s struggle with cancer.
Faulty: In reality TV there are many film techniques used such as editing that destroy the sense of reality because if it were reality, it would be uncut and there would be no need for certain film techniques.
Revised: In reality TV there are many film techniques used, such as editing, that destroy the sense of reality; if it were reality, it would remain uncut and there would be no need for additional film techniques.
Faulty: The method of the essay is through telling an account of a part of the author’s life.
Revised: The method of the essay is a personal narrative. In the essay the author discusses an experience regarding his family that changed his outlook on life.
Revision: The method of the essay is a personal narrative wherein the author discusses an experience regarding his family that changed his outlook on life.