Barriers on My Dreams
by Sarah Zanone
The cell membrane isolates the cell (smallest unit of life) from its environment. It serves many functions: self-identity, protection, and regulation of molecules (beneficial and toxic) both in and out of the cell. Reality functions as the cell membrane in my life. Reality isolates my dreams from the present. Reality keeps those dreams from becoming reality. Reality regulates how much I can do in one semester, and things I have no control over.
I have wanted to be a midwife since I was a child, but I have always been scared of it. Throughout my teens and twenties I have been scared of going to school and accomplishing that goal. For years I talked myself out of going back to school, I tried to keep myself busy working and avoid the desire that was nagging at my heart. One semester my mother talked me into taking one class at the community college. It was fall of 2001, I was taking a Spanish class, trying to get a feel for what I wanted to do. Midwifery was always at the core of my heart but I ignored it for years, and then a memory came back. I remembered the excitement and the joy I felt when I saw one of the most wonderful things that a young child could experience.
I was twelve years old when my baby sister Hannah was born. My mother had a midwife and I was able to witness the birth. It is one of the most memorable moments of my childhood. My sister was 8 lbs. 2 ounces and born on December 29, 1992. When I saw her birth and the miracle of life I knew then that I wanted to be a midwife. I chose at the young age of twelve, midwifery as my goal in life. I had no idea what it would take to earn it.
Midwifery is not as commonly practiced as nursing. You could go to almost any college in the U.S. and they would have a nursing program. There are only about twenty midwifery colleges in the U.S. and none of them are in Arizona. Meaning that I will have to move or do courses by correspondence. There are only three Midwifery colleges that do courses by correspondence. Some of the classes are hard enough in a classroom, but taking classes online or in the mail will be murder.
To be able to get into a midwifery college I have to do several pre-requisites, among them are four biology, child development, sociology and psychology I will be able to apply to a midwifery college when I complete these classes. Before being accepted I have to have a midwife that will take me on as an apprentice. We have a midwifery center downtown and three midwives that work there. There is one midwife who works independently but only one out of all four midwives in town trains apprentices. MaryAnn is the midwife in charge and she may or may not choose to apprentice me.
Mary Ann only takes one to two apprentices at a time and midwifery training can take three to five years to complete. MaryAnn also picks apprentices that are in a certain place in their education, and you have to have a Midwifery College willing to take you if she will apprentice you.
I have volunteered at the midwifery center every Tuesday for the past year hoping one day that I will be chosen as an apprentice. There is a line of women who want MaryAnn to apprentice them, and it is all up to her who she chooses. I could be chosen in a few semesters or it could be three to five years before I am chosen, if I get chosen. I do have the option of going away to school but I love this town and the people in this town. This is my home and moving away even for a few years is unthinkable to me. Reality might work as a cell membrane in the respect that reality has and regulates just how much I can do but it is my dreams, personality, and knowledge of world that give me self identity and protection. Some of my dreams are finally becoming a reality, but others may take a life time to obtain.